Welcome to the forums! Many of the most commonly used techniques in Search Engine Optimization were discovered by optimizing in "amateurish ways." Sometimes you do not know if something works for you until you try it, so do not feel bad about all the effort you have made. I am sure many of the things you have done for your site will pay off for you.
Basic Source code and page stuff:
Try using less words and characters in your homepage title. Your homepage has a lot more words in the title than your other pages do. Try to keep things consistent, if you have 1 phrase titles on all your other pages, do the same for the home or vice versa. Simple balance is best. Use most important phrases in title (earlier the better) and description for each page.
300-500 words of content using the same words on each page.
I would exclude these tags unless needed to make your site function:
<meta http-equiv="Expires" content="0">
<META NAME="Revisit-After" Content="30 DAYS">
<META NAME="Abstract"Content="The best mortgage site">
I would split this tag (<META NAME="Author" Content="Daran Willis - Tadpole Design -
http://www.tadpoledesign.com/">" into two tags using this method:
<META NAME="Author" Content="Daran Willis - TadpoleDesign.com">
<META NAME="URL"CONTENT="
http://www.flagstonefinance.co.uk">
If you are region specific, try to add those words into your titles and descriptions, (example: uk home mortgage)
Regarding sitemap page:
Usually 100 links per page at most is best, and you do not want to stuff keywords or appear to be spamming. I would split my sitemap into 100 link pages and add descriptions to each hyperlink using more keywords (example: 2nd Mortgage Bad Credit - Apply for a 2nd mortgage whether you have good credit or bad credit). Make the title a link to the page you have on that subject and remove hyphens in the phrases.
Keep building links:
Here is where you are now:
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=li ... gle+Search
Here is your goal:
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=& ... google.com
Keep using forums and keep up to date:
Keep coming back! Keep up to date!
More specific questions like the ones you asked already will yield better answers for you. Some people ask for recommendations and never post the site url. In order to get the best advice ask specifics and ask multiple parties. Use your data how you wish, but stay within search engine suggested guidelines if you want long term results.